Are the Israeli charedim "good for the jews?"

The news that a woman was arrested at the Kotel for wearing a tallit earlier this month was a striking reminder to me of how far ideologically Israel truly is from America. American Jews are called on upon to support Israel politically, financially, and unwaveringly. When we question Israeli policies, we are called blood traitors, self-haters, or Nazi collaborators. However, ultimately the real break between Israel and American Jews may not come from the increasing discomfort on the part of American Jews with the violence and lack of diplomacy that Israeli leaders repeatedly indulge in; rather, it may come from the Orthodox dictators eventually deciding that all of us over here really aren't Jews after all. The question will be, will we still all be asked for money and political support once our birthright is taken away? Will the letterhead be addressed "Dear goyish mamzerim?"

In Israel, it would be literally illegal for me to marry my (born-Catholic) boyfriend. True, he could try to convert, but in Israel as we saw last year in the headlines, his conversion could be retroactively nullifed a decade later by a different Rabbi feuding with his predeccessor. (Thank you, Avraham Sherman!) One minute, you'd be married, with legitimate children, and the next, you're notified that your marriage never happened and your children are bastards. I just don't see Ha-Shem being ok with something like that. If we teach that a convert was born with a Jewish soul, what kind of soul does someone whose conversion was nullified have? Why convert with rules like that? Look up conversion of http://www.failedmessiah.com/ to see just how much of a clusterf--k these haredi rabbis have made.

The rules of religion in Israel are basically set up to exclude people, not just Arabs, but other Jews. If you believe that G-d has bigger things to worry about than gay sex, congrats you're not a real Jew. If you think that a man who has a problem hearing a woman's voice in prayer should maybe just get over it, come back to the Kotel later, or put in ear plugs, well then you're a heretic (really, we're using that word now?).

The sad thing is, the Women of the Wall are not asking for equality in prayer. They only want equal access to the most sacred place in Judaism (next to the Temple Mount, but it's not like any of us are getting over there). They're not storming on to the men's side or treating the Torah with disrespect by reading from it without wearing a tallit or kippah. They wanted to hold a service for women only, making the basic assumption that, unlike haredi men, G-d is not offended by a woman's voice raised in prayer. Many of the comments on http://www.jewlicious.com/ were appalling; calling the women troublemakers and anti-semites, asking about the rights of the men who currently pray on more than two-thirds of the wall and why women can't just be satisfied with knowing that they got it easy from Ha-Shem.

Most American Jews are religious Jews. They may eat clam chowder now and again, but they believe deeply in Judaism and in their identity as part of Am Israel. They go to synagogue fairly often, although many drive to get there. They raise their children as Jews while managing to treat the often non-Jewish father/mother of the same children with respect. Assimilation gives Judaism the chance to take on a broader meaning, not a lesser one. When the Israeli rabbis call these people heretics or goyim, they create a schism right down the community and threaten to remove the meaning of Israel for American Jews. Why support a country that hates your president, that doesn't recognize your marriage, your rabbi, or your children? How can an American Jew reconcile their own love for democracy and equality and then write a check to a nation that allows its bigots to dictate its religious and cultural policy? How can I, a woman who prays to G-d (although not with a tallit or kippah), believe that a country that arrested a devout woman while she was holding a Torah is a fitting nation in the sight of G-d?

I teach Religious School to children who will one day find out that many of them are not considered Jews by the Orthodox community. How do I explain to them, or to my own future children (who will be Jews, but probably illegitimate to some ultra-Orthodox), that they should support a country that does not acknowledge them? How do we raise American supporters of Israel who Israel itself will treat with contempt? American Judaism may have a lot of problems facing it, but it has a sense of morality and justice that the Israeli version seems to have altogether lost sight of.