Are the Israeli charedim "good for the jews?"

The news that a woman was arrested at the Kotel for wearing a tallit earlier this month was a striking reminder to me of how far ideologically Israel truly is from America. American Jews are called on upon to support Israel politically, financially, and unwaveringly. When we question Israeli policies, we are called blood traitors, self-haters, or Nazi collaborators. However, ultimately the real break between Israel and American Jews may not come from the increasing discomfort on the part of American Jews with the violence and lack of diplomacy that Israeli leaders repeatedly indulge in; rather, it may come from the Orthodox dictators eventually deciding that all of us over here really aren't Jews after all. The question will be, will we still all be asked for money and political support once our birthright is taken away? Will the letterhead be addressed "Dear goyish mamzerim?"

In Israel, it would be literally illegal for me to marry my (born-Catholic) boyfriend. True, he could try to convert, but in Israel as we saw last year in the headlines, his conversion could be retroactively nullifed a decade later by a different Rabbi feuding with his predeccessor. (Thank you, Avraham Sherman!) One minute, you'd be married, with legitimate children, and the next, you're notified that your marriage never happened and your children are bastards. I just don't see Ha-Shem being ok with something like that. If we teach that a convert was born with a Jewish soul, what kind of soul does someone whose conversion was nullified have? Why convert with rules like that? Look up conversion of http://www.failedmessiah.com/ to see just how much of a clusterf--k these haredi rabbis have made.

The rules of religion in Israel are basically set up to exclude people, not just Arabs, but other Jews. If you believe that G-d has bigger things to worry about than gay sex, congrats you're not a real Jew. If you think that a man who has a problem hearing a woman's voice in prayer should maybe just get over it, come back to the Kotel later, or put in ear plugs, well then you're a heretic (really, we're using that word now?).

The sad thing is, the Women of the Wall are not asking for equality in prayer. They only want equal access to the most sacred place in Judaism (next to the Temple Mount, but it's not like any of us are getting over there). They're not storming on to the men's side or treating the Torah with disrespect by reading from it without wearing a tallit or kippah. They wanted to hold a service for women only, making the basic assumption that, unlike haredi men, G-d is not offended by a woman's voice raised in prayer. Many of the comments on http://www.jewlicious.com/ were appalling; calling the women troublemakers and anti-semites, asking about the rights of the men who currently pray on more than two-thirds of the wall and why women can't just be satisfied with knowing that they got it easy from Ha-Shem.

Most American Jews are religious Jews. They may eat clam chowder now and again, but they believe deeply in Judaism and in their identity as part of Am Israel. They go to synagogue fairly often, although many drive to get there. They raise their children as Jews while managing to treat the often non-Jewish father/mother of the same children with respect. Assimilation gives Judaism the chance to take on a broader meaning, not a lesser one. When the Israeli rabbis call these people heretics or goyim, they create a schism right down the community and threaten to remove the meaning of Israel for American Jews. Why support a country that hates your president, that doesn't recognize your marriage, your rabbi, or your children? How can an American Jew reconcile their own love for democracy and equality and then write a check to a nation that allows its bigots to dictate its religious and cultural policy? How can I, a woman who prays to G-d (although not with a tallit or kippah), believe that a country that arrested a devout woman while she was holding a Torah is a fitting nation in the sight of G-d?

I teach Religious School to children who will one day find out that many of them are not considered Jews by the Orthodox community. How do I explain to them, or to my own future children (who will be Jews, but probably illegitimate to some ultra-Orthodox), that they should support a country that does not acknowledge them? How do we raise American supporters of Israel who Israel itself will treat with contempt? American Judaism may have a lot of problems facing it, but it has a sense of morality and justice that the Israeli version seems to have altogether lost sight of.

"excluding" half-Jews

The Jezebel article on half-Jews was unfortunately frustrating, even though I usually like the author quite a lot. I guess the very idea of a self-labeled "half-Jew" decrying their lack of inclusion into Orthodox Judaism seems illogical and deliberately targeting. I get it, Jews stick together, you don't feel included, you think the ethnic identity of half your DNA can excuse you from responsibility over not perpetuating stereotypes, etc.

A couple of things, though. One, whatever the haredi Jews in Israel say, the only person who decides whether an American Jew is Jewish or not is that Jew him/herself. If your father is Jewish (like the author and many complaining commenters), any Reform or Reconstructionist congregation in America would love you as a member. I know many Hebrew school teachers whose fathers were not Jewish and yet who consider themselves proud Jews. However, of course, the author of the article is not looking for synagogue membership. In fact, she defines half-Jews as those who either "compromise" by going to Unitarian or Quaker memberships or those who light menorahs in front of Christmas trees and grow up without a "single religion."

Everyone's faith is their own business of course, but I don't see how belonging to a Christian Church and not identifying as Jewish really qualify one as an MOT. I don't get how the author can complain about being excluded from a religion/culture which she indicates no desire to participate in. Is she taking Hebrew lessons? Does she study any Jewish history or current politics? Does she observe any holidays? Does she laugh when those around her, assuming she's Christian, make jokes about Jews? It's not just like being Italian or Irish; Judaism is a commitment to a people and a heritage that is simply not compatible with simultaneously practiced Christianity. When someone with only one Jewish parent makes that commitment, they're not called a "half-Jew." They're simply Jewish, whatever the Orthodox mishpocha thinks about it.

Being Jewish may come with a free Birthright Israel trip (thanks, btw, it was great!), but it also comes with a lot of burdens. In the eyes of much of this country and the world, to be Jewish is never to be completely white, completely American, completely "normal." It is to grow up knowing about the Holocaust, and pogroms, and suicide bombings against Israeli civilians. It is to know that as a Jewish woman, particularly among other secular Jews, your looks are valued on how well you can pass as non-Jewish. There is a reason why so many of the commenters have shiksa mothers; decades after Annie Hall, a WASPy blond is still the ultimate catch for a Jewish man. For many of us, women included, thanks to the openness of American society, passing is still a constant tempation and often a resented fantasy.

I have only respect for those individuals who are born as "half-Jews," and decide to embrace their Jewish identity, willingly tackling all of the above. Those are the people whom I believe the Conservative movement should move to welcome and whom the State of Israel should incorporate under its policy for olim. However, the "half-Jews" of this article, who consider themselves equally "half-Christian," have excluded themselves from the Jewish community. If they ever wish to return, to shoulder their responsibilities as Jews and assume the joy and sorrow inherent in a Jewish identity, we'll be waiting.